whatever comes my way!

 After spending much time on the beach reflecting and clearing out my thoughts there was never any final answer for how my life came down to, no fulfilling answer to my doubts. it was not all hopeless and futile as I have managed to sit down with myself in hopes of a revelation to occur, which was a bit ignorant on my part, as I looked to find a response elsewhere or in other people's perceptions or opinions of what suits me best, I failed at seeing the true nature of my questions which only happened to be within; only within I could have found the true answer and this fact sent me true a quest to find out what really matters most to me.

 There wasn't any new information that erupted from the question as I already have seen how I lost my way in every shape or form, leaving me to deal with the facts that only made me see valid reason in my struggles, there was never any new epiphany to be found, only true statement of my deterring thoughts. I need to change to see beauty in my struggle, to finally see that of which I am made for, as for me nothing was ever truly destined for anyone if we chose not to seek it, so seek it I must. I always felt less regarding my confidence or ability, that and imposter syndrome were the twins to haunt me, as I depict true chaos from whatever else is missing and out of order I came to find areas in which I lack control, even if the control I lack was never meant to be of me I searched for other equivalence yet found none. amidst the battles of this journey, my greatest one to be is with myself and controlling its order, so as the task grows and my bearing tends to break I choose to seek out my true disposition, and whatever that may be I know in heart to be of fortune in finding it, or at the least die trying.

 As noble as I might sound I am but a mere human, who lives only to take advantage of life's niceties and to that I am a sinner waiting for salvation from some, yet if I am not to take any initiative nothing would come my way, even though I hold the belief in it it may never cross my path, so living it up I must do, and within the challenges I am but certain to find true meaning, true aim and a new resolution.