stagnation!

 aloof. apart, disrupted at heart.

I am a man of conscience. I think too deep; feel so bleak. I am a continuation of my past delusions. self made into a cocktail of emotions, erupting at the sweetest touch. I see that i have some fear left upon the world, scattered between I am and I want to be .

Feeling hopeless against my own dysfunction. that too a nightmare shall it never last, or so I hope. there are some people in my life that makes it a ferocious feat to care for oneself. i feel too much for a static beat upon the life i share with those whom i feel suffocated  by.

I dress my eyes upon the blessings I can no longer count. I am but aware of the gratitude my tenure lacks. I might be a man, yet too gentle at heart that a mere song plays off the heart strings around the core of it all. the heart hadn't been the quiet place it once used to be. too dangerous, it may fill my day either with joy and ecstasy, or solitary disruption of which we deem as the ignition of the soul. Desire never was so bleak upon the soul. feeling hopeless has made me hope less. I see that I have no control. I sway with the current as it is with a moment. I share my heart with people I care too much to forget out of my life.

I  have been sensing a deep slumber haunting to awake my soul into an upbeat that only leads to a home of solitude. That too is enemy of it all. Hope has been a centre into the typhoon of my soul. I quit yet come barging in with an anecdote to ease the pain, yet forgetting the main stone upon which all sits clear. that too is handful made to stretch the neck upon itself. choke me with the sense of hope that comes to an endless pit where anger launches its tail upon the mediate fire installed within. I am a continuation of a story I must later foretell. that too comes unhinged. I am a truth to be lived. a source to be felt. I am too a man.

it hasn't been easy facing the darkness sheltered into my disruptive consciousness. I see myself as a man uttered with the sweetest tone upon the hardest stone, to only break into an ocean of memories regarded as a well of untold bravadory of man made selfishness. I am too human to be feared. An alias to be named and a fallen brigade. to march to my own destiny feels as if I am contradicting god's word. I am a whiff of his eternity and to that I hold to thee.