Deja-vu?

 

what should we call destiny when faces with good timing, where there is order chaos must be, and where one leads a life of chaos the definition of the opposite seems far away from the gentle mind to grasp. that sense of truth and clarity, that sense we tend to feel amazed by, that inner turmoil of the past is as haunting as it ever could, but which only leads to that innate feeling where I am aware of the slightest attention to my surroundings. that intrinsic interest in the past, present, and future. where all my hopes prevail unto the void. There is some utter dissonance in feeling our mundane emotion, as there is some slight intent of revelation where both my past emotions entangled with my desire and curiosity to know all collide into this form or feeling we deem to call: a deja vu. 

not more than a minute a day throughout the week I feel the slight awareness of my being where I attach certain memories and I drive out the sense of ignorance welcoming every little thought to just fall where it needs to be, every little minute is accounted for , even that slight sense of shock is being valued to push me towards making a decision, towards marking my move, yet it is a true challenge to try to create this feeling, as it happened unintentionally holds some sense of chaos within, where all my emotions, thoughts, and action are but from one only goal: to exist.

I fail at recreating such feelings and I even carry the shame of its realization throughout my most eventful days, it has some sense of comfort as if I had lived before and experienced every little emotion to the max, and where every action is not only accounted for as I mentioned but truly analyzed to this innate feeling of order and harmony, where I lie best my secrets and intention for the near future to take hold of what was before handed to me, for what was and will be. of the dreams that awaken me to my new beginning, my new journey: home.