An idea

I always had the idea to make something onto existence, be it actions or simply new thoughts that circulate through the mind that helped me feel heard, and whatever that means made me hope for some solace in my words, some sense of meaning behind my writings .although being mostly average I still possess the urge to navigate my mind through one of many obstacles, wherein I see my life accumulating some improvement in my journey of self-improvement. so accomplishing something, even as little as it may be holds meaning in my heart, and through it comes my sense of relief.

 I always was the odd one of the group, always watching people grow out of m life yet that feeling of being stuck never slips my mind, as I always think I'm a little behind in my journey yet an idea made me almost change the perspective I have on this predicament, I found that shifting my aim that I am in a race into the simple idea of playing a game or watching a move, so through this new mindset I was able to evaluate my hardships as minor character development put to test my ability for action, meaning through this I was able to accept those same feelings and urges in m personality that used to haunt me sleepless through days, sometimes months with a very odd sense of guilt, of which made me feel less confident or lacking competence, as it proves futile to get out of this cycle of self-criticism I was able to shape my own journey and if that be to write my struggles down and set them through the world as it is was my way of life.

The simple trick is starting to work yet I am always fearful that it might come to some, even myself that I am only ignoring the problem or avoiding triggers by this newfound solution, I am not saying it might be wrong for me to face off inner struggle through evading to even deal with it but it has some intrinsic touch of futility if one is not accustomed to rewiring his brain and actually trying to make it work, as I feel it to be my most important choice to be made, so through this, I have learned to question the ways my brain is trying to face off problems, and how self-sabotaging myself looks like, so the simplest idea became my new hope for a better relationship with my fears, and mostly my mind.

I became potent in my dealing with them and more productive this way, so however the difficulty I face in developing new ideas I make sure to push, even if it is only for just one more day, and whatever I do I want to make sure I provide for my thoughts and feelings the safety needed to function and also create.

If I feel the importance of giving a voice to my thoughts and I claim it to be my job and aim to illuminate what ignites doubt and overrule my series of little accomplishments, which in most cases come to be: myself. 

There is no option other than doing and acting on my selective thoughts, so I would like to mention one of the memorable quotes from the famous series Star Wars which translates to the following: the idea in life is to always make sure you are trying, even with the inevitability of failure one must try, and if that attaches itself with a firm sense of believe in oneself it is guaranteed to success, and if that seems hard to adopt just know you are on the journey to success, as you have already made the effort to try, so as they say:" make sure to either do or don't, there is no try".