you are NOT alone.

 noted!

There is some power and consistency to the feelings of guilt and shame, as we go through our days most of us go unaware of the preexisting thoughts that ignite them, not until far off that we come to find our triggers, and that comes with a cost, a cost in time that was given, and through it, we attained some sense of self-awareness, it is at such a moment when I come to find myself longing for the past, as everything back then seemed to be at a distance or at bay, that we are unable to control, so where does it come from, I know damn well that I am not making them up as I go, hence they feel connected to me in a deeper level, yet when I look at it through other's perspectives I find it quite hard to accept, in order to adapt to then move on. it is quite tricky as it feels quite centric when first triggered so we feel that only we feel that way, and we rarely think to ourselves that we per the world where most of us feel the same and we share it as some humanistic traits that are inhibited in us throughout our conditioning.

As most of us feel the guilt creeping up to regulate our mood for the day we see to it that we try our hardest to ignore it, or shut it down, thinking by doing so we have attained some peace of mind, which afterwards shows to be inconsistent or easy to overcome with hate and disbelief, so what makes it tiresome to bare or to even feel with every part of our bodies, really feel the emotion as it comes, I know how hard it can be to adhere to such truth as we are mostly urged through the density of such feelings to move away or mostly ignore. it couldn't be more problematic especially if every feeling of shame comes with the sense of guilt to inhibit us moving forward, as if those two have some kind of extraterrestrial being or entity that controls our present moment, making us crippled and unable to overcome such tendencies.
take a toll on us both physically and mentally as I know it did with me.

I think to see it as an opportunity to practice my guiding with more effort than before and work through the discomfort of facing such demons, as with all the sense the word has. I think to believe I can work with what I have been given, even through the discomfort and uneasiness of such an act, so when it comes to my well being I think to act as if I'm some endangered species, aiming to achieve some sense of peace whereas every intuition in my mind and body says to flee and run away, so I would inspire you to do the same, and let us conquer our faults or at least accept them, truthfully.